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12-Nov-2016 17:15

In exploring my teenage angst, I fell into the local punk rock scene. These kids played shows in church basements, covering MXPX and Slick Shoes.

Afterward, they listened to The Dead Milkmen and NOFX and smashed mailboxes.

All through my youth, I probably would have said I was a Christian. My parents did take me to church when I was little, I grabbed from the tin of sugar-cookies and drank dixie cups of watery Kool-Aid, but I had somehow remained a bit feral.

In this view of sexuality, where there was no more than “don’t do it,” consent and it’s many layers wasn’t an issue.

During lunch I smoked cigarettes in the bathroom, wearing eyeliner and flared Mudd jeans—good girls wore Gap. I still would have probably said I was Christian, but now I was definitely not going to be caught getting baptized.I have a confession to make: I am a twenty-seven (and a half) year-old virgin. I still remember the day my parents gave me my purity ring and we talked about saving sex for marriage. My mom, dad, and I went to breakfast, and the awkwardness was palpable. I attended a public high school and a private liberal arts college. Except, according to a December 2009 study by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, I’m in a minority of people: those who have kept their virginity, even among those who claim to be religious. It was a movement, an obsession, a cult of sexual purity — and one that didn’t know how to handle sexuality.True Love Waits was a really big deal to me and my friends at the time. We had a car and freedom to make out with our boyfriends without the watchful eyes of our parents nearby. No longer was remaining a virgin expected and normal.

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Evangelical Christian culture was touting the benefits of bringing back courtship and the mass signing of abstinence pledges became the cool thing to do. We started to push physical boundaries, but for the most part kept our vow of No Sex Before Marriage. Some people we met thought we were crazy upon hearing we were virgins. Our churches didn’t feel like a safe place because “True Love Waits” was the whole conversation about sex.

Great for use in a retreat setting or a Disciple Now weekend.

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